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Record My Mind: Banal Records of a Pedestrian Life

Suffering and evil overwhelm me and I stew in my own juice. 

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

1/11/2005 06:15:00 pm - Grim options

I was holding back tears. Just called CC to inform him of what Dr. Boon told me.

The ultrasound scan revealed a mass found between Blackie's right kidney and liver. The mass is likely be a tumour that is causing her weight loss. Her right kidney's structure has changed so greatly that it is no longer recognisable. Her left kidney looks normal. She is likely to be suffering from a terminal condition.

There are three options now: surgery; no treatment; and euthanasia.

The aim of surgery would be to find out more about her condition and hope that it would result in her recovery. But Dr. Boon didn't sound confident that Blackie, in her present state, can withstand the surgery. Neither was she confident that the mass (probably a tumour) can be removed through surgery; that mass may be too connected to other parts of Blackie to be surgically removed. If the mass cannot be removed, she may wake up from the surgery only to suffer and waste away. After pointlessly suffering as a result of the surgery, CC would have to decide what to do next.

The aim of no treatment would be to avoid the risks of surgery. But Blackie's quality of life would only continuously deteriorate until she dies, which would likely happen within two months. She would reach a point where she cannot eat, cannot walk and keeps vomitting.

The aim of euthanasia would be to prevent further suffering and end a probably terminal and hopeless condition before it becomes unbearable for both CC and Blackie. However, there is a need to decide when to draw the line (whether now or when she can't eat, or can't walk etc.) and put her to sleep.

The decision would have to lie with CC. I have done what I can and left aside my personal views in this post.

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